Confession....

My first blog .. 

just to express my feeling..

these few days been like a hell to me.. 

chaotic..

but these few days also been like a brain washing days to me...

brain wash to a better me...

to make me realise a lot and a lot....

I guess i should change the 'hell' to 'heaven'..

i realised a lot.. 

sometimes people don't really care... 

they want but they are unable.. 

they can't provide u real and beneficial care..

those care are more on comforting a soul..

a loss direction soul..

just comforting... 

show their care...

the comfort only works temporary..

it can't really help much.. 

for a long term....

in these hours...

even friends can't help much..

but i never say i do not need friends..

i been lucky and happy to know many many true and good friends...

they been nice and good to me...

but at this failing moments...

is all cause by my own failing act...

my unmatured thinking back then...

they support me ...

but stil it can't change anything..

n i stil appreciate their comforting and support...

with their support and love i surely will grew stronger and tougher...

i do get some sms and phone calls of concern from my dear friends..

i cried few times when my friends call anxiously..

asking me..

concerning me...

i am really grateful for those calls..

thanks agian..

and some stil keep in inform of wat to look at...

grateful once again...

grateful to have them as my friends..

but still they can't help much...

so in these hours...

these critical hours...

direction losses hours...

the one that really show cares , support, and beneficial advices..

the one who scold u but oso blame themselves as they think they are one of the cause for my failure today...(honestly they weren't)

the one stil hug u and kiss u even u fail them...

that is the Biggest comfort a person could have..

I am such a lucky girl..

even i fail once again and again..

my Parents...

My dad..

after knowing my failure...

he didn't get mad...

rather than pissed off with me..

he show the other kind of way of making me completely ashamed with my achievement...

he ask clearly my interest...

help me analyze..

every single pros and cons...

n bring me to seek advices..

he didn't even mad at me...

when i cried..

he comfort me..

encouraging me to forget the past and go on...

my mom...

she hug me once i get back..

without a word..

she just hug me..

the hug.. 

was so warm..

and it meant everything to me...

i felt ashamed once again....

and yet it really motivate me a lot...

her loving and caring..

my parents...

are great...

I love them with all my heart..

and I promise myself...

no matter what i do and go in the future..

I will make them proud!!!

also..

my brothers..

they give me lots of encouraging words...

and lots of advices...

love them..

I really am a lucky girl...

to have them open the roads for me...

yet i didn't appreciate and fully used wat they give me...

also..

my grandma..

she is the first i cried to...

for my failure...

she comfort me in another way..

which oso stimulate me a lot...

tat's all for this first blog..

confession ..